Liar Liar pants on fire….

I do think my children should bow before their Queen! LOL

WEGO HEALTH DAY 16...Tell us 3 things that are true about you, your condition, or your Health Activism.  Tell us 1 lie. Will we be able to tell the difference? I started this like 10xs….

 I do not know how to lie about my activism because I am way too passionate about it. I cannot hide my desire to raise awareness and change the image of breast cancer. I want all the whispers of cancer to be shouts, I want the scars to be worn as proud marks of a warrior, I want a CURE. I can however make shit up about me. The only problem is that somethings that are true people will think are lies.

I never thought that there would be so much hate in our world. I cannot believe the bombings in Boston or the shooting in Connecticut. I cannot believe that there is such evil this world that we are trying to raise children. It is so strange to me that evil exists like this. Taking away someone else’s life is not something I understand. The pain after for these families must be traumatic, I wish I understood that.

 I never thought of myself as an activist. When I was 16 my BFF and I decided to be cool we would go vegetarian. We were so cutting edge back then. For like the 1^st year we would sneak meatballs and burgers, closet eaters for sure or maybe it was the pot. Either way we stopped eating meat and were so hip or weird to many. Then in college I was a nanny for an animal rights family and I decided to ramp up my coolness. I looked up companies that tested on animals and banned them. I got rid of my leather and went au natural. I showed my friends videos of animals being slaughtered and urged them to stop. Tom took his last bite of an under cooked burger on Valentine’s Day. Then I realized I really liked leather shoes, a LOT. So I eased up on the radical animal rights but remain a veggie girl. Really because I think meat tastes like skin to me and makes me feel like a cannibal.

 I never thought I would get cancer because I am literally never sick. I hardly go to the doctor, as a matter of fact I think the only one I see the most is my OB/GYN but crap I had 4 kids in a row. I hate the doctors, I feel like when you go you leave sicker than you came. I actually hate the dentist more, honestly haven’t been to the dentist in years they freak me out. I can get a tattoo but dentist NO FRIGGIN way!! I have an actual panic attack; I even make Tom take the boys.

I never thought I would be a stay at home mom. NEVER ever did I think I would have 4 kids let alone boys! I pictured 2 kids and the first was always a girl named Grace. I went to school for forensic psychology, I wanted a career. I didn’t want to be scrubbing toilets, driving around, doing loads of laundry; I really wanted to work in a crime lab, I wanted to be Quincy!! For you very young people it was a show on TV about a forensic psychologist before all this CSI and Criminal Minds crap.

I never thought my life would be where it is but you never do right? We all have this picture in our heads of what we think life will be like. If only we could remove that image and just live the life we have and really LIVE IT! Stop judging ourselves for what we don’t do and start loving ourselves for what we do. I am a better person because stupid dumb cancer taught me this and that is the only thing I am glad about.

I really wanted to tell lies about pole dancing, smoking pot, stealing cars, watching a friend die, being a cheerleader, marching in DC for woman's rights, being in fists fights, taking off to New Orleans at 18, volunteering at a retirement village, or working in a funereal home but they all seemed like too big of lies. Or are they lies???

Fighting Brave

http://fightingfancy.com/

WEGO Challenge Day 15 ...Comment! Pick someone else’s blog post and write a comment to them. Write that comment as your post for today and link back to them to let them know you were inspired.

Fighting Fancy:

I'm so inspired by how far you have taken these bags. The day you sent mine I was going in for my hysterectomy. The items in the bag were thoughtful and fun. You took your stupid dumb journey through breast cancer and are making it an inspiring helpful empowering journey for others. Heather, you touched me and Jill so much, you inspired us to do Bravery Bags! You are giving hope to warriors and we can not wait to start passing out the bags. I am so happy we connected and I am so proud to call you my warrior sister. I hope everyone takes a minute and checks out your page http://fightingfancy.com/ and helps you in your mission to help others. I use my bag for the gym so every time I work out I see that there is a warrior fighting fancy while I am brave.

Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer: Beauty and Strength

Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer: Beauty and Strength:   Jen Burgess Thompson http://www.amistillagirl.com/   When I was diagnosed a lot of people gave me advice and notes, cards and gifts....

Thank a few of your fellow Health Activists for what they have done. Call them out by name or twitter handle. Share your love. Is the challenge for day 14 from WEGO. 

At first I was gonna shout out to all my friends and make a top ten list (I know I've done it before but it's my blog damn it) but I decided to repost instead. I have so many blogger friends I read daily and I didn't want to piss anyone off (Anne Marie, Ashley, Jeri, Jackie, Erin, Ciel, Anne, Brooken Boobie, Chris don't take it out on me lol).  I want to take a minute and not only thank Jen but to honor her. While you may have forgotten her family is still grieving and I am till thinking of my warrior friend. 

I'm not doing these challenges not  to win an award (but shit I do love a tiara), I'm not doing them so people will think I'm a great writer (Tom is sitting her begging me to spell check) or because it's cool to blog (call me hipster). I am doing this because I need it. I need to release emotions, thoughts and ideas. If I don't the voices in my head start having way too many conversations. So, while you may think I cheated on this one I am not concerned. I am honoring a friend who I think about every day, who I wish didn't take wings, who I know is watching over all us warriors. Who I am thankful I had a chance may it brief to know. I'm thanking her for sharing her journey because it helped me so. 

Plus you know this is my party and I will cry if I want to! Hahahahaahahahahahahaha now you're singing that

SDBC

Write a health acrostic for your condition, hashtag, or username! (acrostic = a poem where every letter of a word serves as the first letter of a word or phrase i.e. DOG = Digs Others’ Gardens)
Seriously WEGO??! LOL

Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer

Sometimes
Terrifying things happen.
Understand that 
People are 
In your corner.
Don’t stop believing.
Dare yourself to be
Unstoppable.
Make
Bullets of your
Breasts.
Remember
Everyone has a different
Attitude and 
Shoes!
Times will be
Crazy but use
Anything to make you smile.
Notice how
Cancer doesn’t
Ever take away the 
Real YOU!
 This poem was written with the help of my 10 year old son who is working on poems at school and my 4th grade teacher husband (who loves this stuff)

I talk to my self cause there is no one to talk to

If you could go back in time and talk to yourself (or your loved one) on the day of diagnosis, what would you say? WEGO Day 12

Funny cause I talk to myself all the time, like even when I'm in the store and I think no ones listening I'm that lady. As I read this my house is quiet, 5:30 in the morning does that sometimes, I was already talking to myself. I had this odd picture of myself having coffee with myself, don't call the psych ward just yet.  The breast cancer self is sitting there stunned while the non cancer self won't shut the hell up. 

"Fuck, are kidding me? This sucks? But what are you going to do! You are not CANCER. you are a lot of things it cancer is not one of them. I do not not want the woe is me crap either so get that right out of you head! That's life, so don't start crying now. Well cry right now then get over it. You should know that cancer does not discriminate. It doesn't care that for the past 7 years you have worked hard to fight this beast. Oh they irony is too crazy. So here is what you will do. Get a mastectomy then whatever else they tell you you need in order to deal with this. You are going to fight like the crazy Italian you are and you will take no prisoners. Seriously get yourself under control and don't let this consume you. Your family is going to drive you crazy with love and your friends are going to want to help, let them don't be an idiot. you need these people don't push them away, you would want to help them. Yes,  your screwed from here on in you will be battling, but guess what you are just the average woman with breast cancer. Do something about it! Make something of this damned situation. No dumb ass you won't find a cure you have no ideas how to do that! But you know how to throw a party, so do that. I am not saying that cancer is a party but people love a party so throw one, for breast cancer. Ok look you will be fine, maybe not today or tomorrow but you will be, you're not dead yet so fight. I know you can beat this, you will be stronger because if this and hopefully less bitchy. Ya know I got shit to do, if you need to to talk, text me you know I'm here for you. Look truth is shit happens to good people you aren't that good but you ain't bad either. So straighten that tiara and go get em princess!"

Dontcha wish your doctor was hot like…

Write about your favorite health iPhone app? day 11
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=VsyE2rCW71o&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVsyE2rCW71o
Ok yes it's completely sexist, but lets just say everyone needs a healthy friendly reminder. Especially one that will grab your attention. If only they were the actual doctors doing the exam. No disrespect to any of mine, but come on!

Or Write about your favorite social network. Do you love Twitter? Facebook? Pinterest? Why? 
I have so many bloggers, tweeters, pincers I love I could never choose one. But I do have a more global one that is just great! You can connect with others with cancer in any easy format. http://www.ihadcancer.com/  I HAD CANCER is set up so you can search your cancer, age, and area. Making it very simple to connect with cancer warriors that best fit you. Questions are asked and answered plus they do guest blogs. I have connected with so many on this sup easy web page.
I hope every checks out both but let’s face it everyone of you ladies and some of you guys, are downloading that Man App!

Semi wordless Wednesday

Why is this picture my favorite? You know I love a list, let me count the ways.

1. It's hours after a long surgery and I'm up. A mastectomy is no joke but this was my easiest to bounce out of anesthesia.
2. It's me and my daddy. I waited to walk until he came back up. He has held my hand my whole life and this was priceless.
3. I'm in some beautiful shoes! My legs look pretty damn good, you gotta love a good stiletto.
4. We both have such smiles of relief on our faces.
5. The nurses were totally freaking out and wouldn't let me walk farther than the door.
6. My dad was holding on so tight he left a mark on my hand.
7. My hair still looks good after surgery, thanks Duke!
8. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, well 2 boobs but still clear nodes!!
9. I look so friggin tall cause my dad is so friggin short.
10. The best part....I have 4 drains hanging from my pjs!!

DeSkunking

BLAHAHAAH I got the power

WEGO Health Day 8 challenge…..If your health condition (or the health condition of a loved one!) was  an animal, what would it be? Is it a real animal or make believe? Seriously?? Animal? Well even though it is 6:30am and I am a mother of 4 I feel like I need to smoke a joint in order to complete this mission. I guess I will settle for an espresso. I was thinking a one-eyed, one horn, flying purple people eater because It eats people but I really love the color purple. Maybe a zombie? A leach would work too. Ugh this is hard, damn you WEGO! WAIT, great Scott I have got it (who the hell is Scott?)! I think that cancer would be a skunk, cause it stinks! One might think a skunk is soft and cute until it unleashes it stench. You have all those cancer cells inside you and on the outside you look fine but inside is stinking up the body! Hence the wonderful phrase “You don’t look sick”. It takes a lot of work to get that skunk smell out of whatever it attacked, have you ever tried getting that smell out of well anything?? You think the first round of the crazy concoction  worked then about an hour later the smell hits you and it is back to mixing a remedy. Much like cancer you think that you are getting that crap out of you then you get sprayed again. It takes energy, determination and treatments to get deskunked. I wonder if the home remedy would work on cancer? Now there is a study! It even calls for latex gloves, is anyone allergic to latex?

• 1 quart (or liter) of 3% Hydrogen Peroxide, H₂O₂.
  Use fresh (unopened) hydrogen peroxide (H₂O₂). Hydrogen peroxide eventually turns into water (H₂O).
• 1/4 cup (50 ml.) of Baking Soda
• 1 teaspoon (5 ml.) of Liquid Soap
• 1 pair of plastic or latex gloves

I know this Chinese herbalist in the mountains that has the answer no mastectomy needed

“Read all about it! Miracle cure-all discovered deep in the heart of the Amazon!”

WEGO health challenge Day 7, write the most ridiculous thing someone said about our health. This could be the longest blog post ever written! I have had the craziest thing ever said to me. From saying I don't have "real" cancer, to take 2 vitamins and you are cured, to your so excited. I have chosen the top 3, I was going to do the Top 10 like Letterman, but my kids are so pissed cause SU lost they are incredibly annoying Apparently that is worse than having cancer. 

Let me first state that there are comments made from people that just don't know what to say. I get that, people don't like being faced with the scary reality of life. Sometimes if you just think for a second before you speak things like "aren't you excited to get fake boobs?" Won't come out! Excited? Really, having a double mastectomy to get rid of breast cancer is not at all exciting or lavish. It was the direct opposite. My comment usually was " yeah having cancer is more exciting than going to Disney". 

"You are so lucky to have the easy cancer, it isn't really cancer"! Seriously you just said that? When a doctor uses the words "you have cancer" guess what, it's cancer. When your choices are a double mastectomy or a lumpectomy with radiation, guess what you have cancer! When you spend the next years going through surgeries, scans, blood work you have cancer. If only it was lucky everyone would want it. Yes there are different stages, types but cancer is well cancer.

But the best one ever was a call I got. I had an article written in the paper about me and they put my phone number in there. Sort of like having your number written in the bathroom stall of the biggest bar ever. Thanks for sharing Post Standard, Verizon loved having me go over in minutes.   I got a ton of crazy calls telling me all sorts of advice and cures. A man called and wanted me to come to his house, sure I will be right over. He has the cure for cancer and the government won't listen, oh I am a good listener. If you take these 2 pills you are cured, I have never been a pill popper but this could be the answer. He wanted to know when I wanted to come over, I said now but all my friends discouraged me. I don't kniw seems legit, right?!

The future is so bright I have to wear shades

Dear Ann Marie (that is so weird),

Hope this finds you smiling. I wonder if in 44 years you will remember writing this? At 85 I wonder if you remember anything. I bet you and Nikki threw Tom and Andy right in that senior center and took off. I am hoping the children are happy and living their life and making me/you proud. I can't figure out if this should be in the 1st person or 3rd. I just hope they crowned you Princess by now!

This is hard to write today since we lost so many warriors this week. I can't bare to think about who is still in this world and who are not. But yet my mind is racing. Was a cure found? Better yet did they find out a cause? I am hoping that more research was done for environmental factors and cancer. 

Did you remember to take it day by day? I hope that the stress of cancer did not take over your day. I want nothing more than to have you embrace your scars and see how strong they made you. Omg your tattoo, I can't wait to see how beautiful it came out. It will just enhance those scars and make them more badass I am sure.

What happened to Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer?? Did it become all you wanted? I hope it changed how people think about cancer. I just know that it helped empower others to be strong and keep their fists up. I wonder how much money was raised. Did the kids continue the organization? I bet they did, or maybe their spouses did! How many shirts were made? Where are people rocking them?

Did know that during all this you were/are amazing? Did you know how proud your mother is? Your grandmothers? Your warrior angels? You took this horrible, rotten, stupid dumb breast cancer and made it a fabulous, powerful, inspiring journey! Kudos to you old lady. I hope you remembered  writing this, shit I hope you remember where you put it.                  

Live, life, hope-

Ann Marie (41 and proud)

Ps. Do you still have purple hair?

Pss. How many tattoos did you end up with?

Psss. Does Tom close the cupboards yet?

Pssss. How are the implants?

Psssss. Is it like the Jetsons there now? I really hope so