15 years ago

I am floored that my son Benjamin who was once in an incubator because he was premature is 15 years old today. Through the years he as grown from this kelp loving, scuba diving, bug catching,  fire fighting enthusiast into a young adult. It is funny what you picture for your child when they are younger and what they end up being. I never thought Ben was a talk back kid but he does and I try as hard as I can to not smack him. I thought he would hand in all his homework but damn the fool forgets to hand in shit all the time.  I pictured him as the big brother that his siblings would go to for advice instead he picks on them and drives them crazy.  I visioned a smart  boy instead I have a know it all who has to be right. All the opposites I thought I would have I still love no matter how annoying. I was never that mom that would rant on and on about how fab their kid is I usually talk about their mistakes. From those they learn and I have watched Ben evolve this last 2 years from mistakes he made and choices from them with pride. 

He still runs to his grandfather's arms to hug him. Is in bed at 8pm and truly stays out of trouble.Ben tells me stuff annoyingly and acts like I am such a pain in the ass mom, but secretly he loves talking to me I am not making this up it is a fact. He wants to go to lunch and asks my fashion input.   Ben still gets lost in  book  and loves to draw which he is very talented at. As much as he drives his brothers nuts he worries about them and where they are. He comes to me for advice, does not always take it but talks it out with me. Let the truth be told sooner or later he does it my way!

And he runs, FAST. Against kids bigger, longer and  taller than him. But do they have the drive? There are few things that make me cry for each of my kids and watching Ben run is one because he does it with passion which brings me to tears.  He took on to running naturally but with a drive to excel to be better than he was yesterday. He is a phenomenal runner but I will only let him hear me yell "COME ON BEN PUSH IT" push it real good lol. I know when he hears that two things happen- he gets the drive to push just a little more for me and he is so annoyed that I think he is not pushing hard enough he drives him harder. 

Did I ever think he would be who he is? No I did not. I still picture my fire fighter but I would not be more honored to call this ridiculously amazingly nugget of a kid my son. I love you Beano with your faults, your perfections and your future. I will always be there yelling, pushing and cheering you on. Get good grades and keep running really really fast so you can go to college just far enough away from  me that I can come and hug your crazy stupid butt every now and then. I know you need it as much as I do!

Posted on June 4, 2015 .