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Sometimes I go about my day and the thought of my mom never
enters my mind. Lately, she is nonstop.
There are times in a child’s life that they just need their mother. I
was so lucky growing up to have 2 amazing Grandmothers, a sister, a godmother, a big brother, a dad like no other, Aunts who
went beyond their role, my mother’s friends who took me in, and friend’s
mothers who made it their duty to treat me like a daughter (Momma Lorraine you
always make me feel like a daughter). Because of all of them, I was so filled with love that it was easy to get past the loss. Through a LOT of
therapy I learned to become who I am, knowing that I was just like her and to
stand proud. Yes, sometimes the loss is intense but you learn to get used to
it. Anyone who says “you will get over it” is full of shit and does not know
what they are saying. You never get used to a losing a loved one, you just
learn how to cope.
My mother died just a few weeks after my 1st
birthday. It doesn’t make my loss harder or less than my sister or brother, it
just makes it my loss. I grew to love the woman in this picture without ever
even knowing her; a mother’s love is that strong. During my journey with stupid
dumb breast cancer the loss of her has been the biggest challenge. Some days it
would be so great to have her, but I do not let myself go there. I remember
that in some capacity she is in my life, she is here. I am told she was a fierce, opinionated,
strong willed, out-spoken, hard ass of a woman. HMMMMMMM……I think we may have
butted heads, A LOT!
