9:10am
Hello all-
Not much to report here...AM is in surgery, expecting her out between 11:00 and 12:00. She's doing her thing- 20" heels, attitude, ratty hospital gown. Hopefully this will be our last visit with Crouse for a while. I'll give you an update when she comes out.
Tom

Here we go...again!

Wake up well didn't really sleep,  shower, drive to hospital, go through check in, vitals, SHOES, drive the staff nuts, NO COFFEE, get drugs, say inappropriate things to hospital staff, go to sleep while the doctor gets to work............stay tuned as Tom will fill you in!

Are you shitting me?

TMI you might say or informative you might say, either way this is shitty! The docs tell you what they think is all you need to know then send you home with a slip of paper reading “drink a whole bottle of Magnesium Citrate then do a Fleet enema”, are you shitting me? Yes, literally you are. Drinking that bottle ironically tasted like ass, not that I know exactly what that tastes like! You need to be cleaned out before they go in plunging stuff around. An enema, how much more crap can I take. So tonight I spend the night before surgery in the friggin bathroom. I thought having a baby was hard work, well Rosemary’s baby is much worse than that. Do not even get me started on the “you will be very gassy after” part, I swear this is a man’s doing.  I had to miss my son’s concert because I didn’t know when it would kick in! All ok he is a lip syncer anyway, but who will stand up and wave until he waves back??
Ok let’s move on this is gross…I have been given some great advice from fellow hyster/oopherectomy girls and I find it so important. I thank everyone of them from Cali to Texas and Mexico to Italy they are amazing woman who have been so supportive and helpful.

• You are bloated after so wear sweatpants
• Heating pads help with gas/pain
• Eat cupcakes (I like that one!!)
• Do not even try to lift anything
• WALK WALK WALK

Scared?? Well, I was much more nervous last week, feeling better now. It is what it is and you just have to deal and well that is that. It s my kids that is killing me. Ben is so nervous he is on overdrive. Sam just wants me to say there is no cancer. Anthony just wants to play with his friends and Julian well, he wants momma home to snuggle. My husband is plugging along but I see the look of concern on his face as clear as daylight. Hard to see the ones you loved scared and know that you can not say it is going to be ok! Has this increased my level of fight? Totally, wouldn’t it you? I think I am (as well as Tom) more nervous of FULL BLOWN menopause. There is no gradual slope here you are just in it head on. I can not take hormones so I am looking for no hormonal advice. I just hope that my family and friends will be as kind to me as I am ripping their heads off for the stupidest of shit. This journey has been insane:lump, no boobs, implants, reproduction parts, OH MY.

 

Everyone keeps asking if I am ready. Honestly, my bag is packed (killer shoes) and that is all I have to do. Now I wonder if anyone asked the doctor, nurses, anesthesiologist and ALL of Crouse hospital if they are ready for the “Princess in stilettos”??? Sleep well Doctor you got work to do first thing!

Upcoming events….

Ya piece of cheese

One of my favorite pic, my grandmother could DANCE!!

Happy Birthday to one of the strongest pain in the asses I ever knew. Today was my grandmother’s birthday and she was the true badass! She spoke her mind and didn’t care how it came out or how you took it. Nana did it all from the heart or not at all. She would iron the shit of out clothes (took 100 washes to get the creases out) and did not believe in a Swifer. She actually thought the devil invented it! Her skin was gorgeous and she ate like a champ. When the chips were down she was at your side to clean it up. She drove us nuts with her gospel talk and quotes from 60 minutes. She loved baseball and basketball but HATED football. Her doughnuts had to be crème filled or it was a not worth it . She was known to take food out of the garbage as to not let it go to waste and she would eat the food off your plate if you turned away. Her basement was damp and musty but refused to stay upstairs.  Every Sunday she buttered both sides of my boys bread and gave them a dollar. Nana made the best eggplant and no one really can do it like her even though we all think we do. I miss her more than life and want her here beside me. I want to listen to her bible quotes and the click of her dentures. I want to take her to Peter’s to buy 2 bananas cause she only liked them fresh. I want her to yell at me for drinking diet Coke and booze. I want to hear her say that woman who drink beer out of bottles are "trashy butanas". I want to hear her say “twenty lashes with a wet noodle”. I wish she was here to tell me all the things I am doing wrong during this battle eeven though I know she would be so proud. I want her to cry with me…..

Happy birthday ya old lady, you will always be 90 years YOUNG to us!!

Rosemary’s baby

Even before stupid dumb breast cancer reared its ugly head I have been a cystic girl. I have had a little dusting and cleaning done every other year just about (I think the technical term is D & C but mine is funnier). I have had 3 miscarriages and 4 babies, a tubal ligation, ablation and a scope every now and then, needless to say my girl parts have been worked over. So when I was still getting the periods after the ablation my sweet doc decided to have a look, like he hasn’t been there before! Low and be hold there are some more cysts growing like wild fire. If you saw my file at this office you would laugh, the girls can’t even fit it in the holder they have to set it on the counter. I think one uses a forklift to get it out, So these cysts (Rosemary’s baby we call them, if you have no clue what I am talking about please Google) are giving me pelvic pain, pressure, lower back pain and cramps like the devil’s child. Considering my history it is ALL coming out. My cervix, uterus, tubes, ovary…out and good riddance! I really thought this would be about 5 pounds worth of weight but it looks like its only ounces, wtf I get robbed again! Once the pathology reports come back we will know what the next steps are. Taking this one step at a time and trying not to leap forward.

Here is the truth, I am scared like a crazy lady. The uncertainty of all this makes me nuts. Plus, add the fact that they thought I just had papilloma and then told me it was stupid dumb breast cancer makes my nerves even worse. I did not realize that the surgery was 3-4 hours, well I guess when they roto rooter your vagina they need to keep you under for awhile. I have been told that my begging will not work to go home. Looks like I am sleeping over, my sister offered to stay with me but really could the hospital deal with the both of us??? Unfortunately for me this doctor and staff know me oh too well so I know I can not beg my way to going home. I need my rest they say, yeah cause getting my vitals checked every half hour is so restful. As my brother says “Don’t be difficult, try to be someone else” so I guess I will listen. The surgery itself is at the same place I had my mastectomy, I am hoping for the same attendant!!  I guess I need new PJ’s, MC will you help me find some. LOL I can not find PJ’s I like, partly because I am so friggin short and the other cause I don’t normally wear them!

don’t even get me going over the menopause shit. I will be in full on menopause, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, my poor family. If anyone has any suggestions I will take them because I can not have hormone, breast cancer LOVES estrogen. I am wiggin out about this, I am a spaz as it is I can not image adding to this!

Overwhelming oh hell yes! So glad I got the easy cancer, huh? I am hoping for everything to be ok but the world is a crazy whacky place so you know what they say “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst”.

I went and got my eyebrows done, shoes shined, pedi next week, hair next week, then its show time! I have the BEST shoes for this one, these are glittered out, I mean come one they are taking a LOT out. Last time I was so concerned with what underwear to wear, well this time I do not need any. If you have read my blog you know I am very inappropriate  under anesthesia, can you image what will come out as they place my legs in stir ups!? Last time I had surgery with this doc I told the nurse to make sure he didn’t slip a ruffie, thanks god they had a sense of humor. Don’t worry I waxed too (Brazilian that is lmao).

Stacks for Racks…

I HAD CANCER

I am a guest blogger on the site www.ihadcancer.com

The site connects cancer fighters, supports and survivors by what type of cancer you have and where you live. You can search by age, too! It is an awesome page. PLEASE check it out….

http://www.ihadcancer.com/h3-blog/01-14-2013/Do-You-See-What-I-See

Do you want nipples to go with that?

“You have breast cancer and we will be removing your breasts. Would you like to keep your nipples?” As my head was spinning back in June from the first two statements the last was like “WTF are you talking about?” When you have a mastectomy you have the option to keep your nipples or have them removed. I choose to say good bye nips. They cannot guarantee you that they will get all the cancer cells out of them so I decided to get rid of them. Not to mention the whole idea of having them sewed onto my ass to save them was wiggity whack to me! True story, I know a woman who has a sister who had that done, BLAHAHAHAHAH!!  

Only 2 refills???

 So after my reconstruction my sweet plastic surgeon said “We have boxes of prosthesis nipples for you to choose from, if you would like.” A box of what?! Life is like a box of nipples you never know what you’re going to get. Sure enough they come in different sizes and colors, but alas no glittery pink ones. I see a market for this for sure. The doc needs to give you a prescription for them so do not try going down the nipple aisle at Wegman’s. Let me say you cannot pick up your prosthesis nipples at the Pharmacy at Target, you need a mastectomy store. Oh the things we learn through this process. Really sticker like, rubbery nipples, no fucking way!! But you know me and a good laugh is right up my alley. SO I brought the script to New Beginnings over in BrittionField, AWKWARD!!! The dear women that work there are older like grandmotherly and I hand them the slip of paper saying “I am here for my nipples”. “What dear speak up?!” UGH, nipples you are killing me here. They were awesome there and processed the order. I am sure the people at insurance get a kick out of running that through.

Oscar right???

At first I was like “This will make a great joke” and then I kept thinking of all the pictures Genevieve could take, ohhhhhh the possibilities are endless. When we took them out we couldn’t decide what to do first. After sticking them on things and making Oscar the Grouch. I tried them on…..WOW I look like I have real boobs. It changes your chest into real boobs, CRAZZZZYYYYY. Really it was wild how they made my boobs look well, REAL!! I totally understand why woman want these. They are not a joke at all. They build confidence and make you feel whole. They stick well too, now it’s not to guarantee they won’t fall off so beware! They instantly made me feel like I was well “normal”, do not say it. At first we didn’t think they would show but as you can see they do. I know you won’t want to “nip out” all the time but that is without a bra, just a sweatshirt, so with layers they don’t pop as much.  This whole process is insane. Every step is strange, educational and scary all wrapped together. I never in a million years would think I would be writing about prosthesis nipples, holy shit! Next chapter hysterectomy, that should be interesting……..

I ride for LIFE...

They will never take a piece of my sould

Ready and go...

Getting the riders pumped



NICK!!

Looks like they are having FUN

Listen up peeps:)

My MAN

Here we go....

Prep for the ride to hell



A little slice of Chin

My partner in crime..HANNAH



The Rack Pack, they even got me a shirt:)

Honey Badger don't play Nip

Ready to ROCK

Can you see the energy here??

And so it begins...

I amazed at how awesome this community is. Not only did 185 riders come out to endure the sensational 6 instructors ride, but we raised close to $5000.00!!! No joke people can I get a WHOOT WHOOT???  Part will go to Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure under team CURE OR BUST; you can register for that race on that team NOW!! And to help in the fight against bone cancer. This brings Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer up to almost $20,000.00 for various cancer charities. Pretty damn good for a little Italian girl from the Nort Side and her stupid dumb breast cancer. A fellow survivor took the challenge just like she attacked stupid dumb breast cancer like a badass, Suzanne rode for 6 hours. She left the center with a smile so I think she had a blast! Massively huge thanks to Cor Development Company for giving us the space to hold this event and providing snacks to the riders. Epic Outdoor Adventure gave us water bottles to give out to the early bird registrations and to the winning team name…….DICKS FOR CHICKS!! Six GREAT guys won and they could not have been more proud. Thanks to Taylor for providing visors to the instructors and the “Big Bone” rider, we missed you girl! Many thanks to every single instructor for donating their time, the room were filled with high energy for over 6 hours!!! Thanks to my Sam for wiping the bikes in between the rides and to my niece Jess and cousins Rosie and Meg for their help! Even though she was only supposed to stay for an hour my Deb (soon to be step mother!!) stayed for the whole event and helped so much their is no way to thanks. MC got up and came out to help but she knows I would have beaten her if she didn’t. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST HANNAH!!!!  She helped do it all, I loved working with her and cannot wait to plan the next ride. We are a fabulous teamJ

What is great is that after every event I am in awe at the success! What is even better is that it pumps me up for the next one! When I was diagnosed with this stupid dumb breast cancer I knew I was not going to take it and just roll with it. I wanted to not only beat it but show it who was boss! With all the donations for these events it keeps my cost to a minimum which means the more to kick cancer into outer space. I am done sitting by and doing nothing, I am making this what I was set out to do. I am really making cancer learn it picked the wrong bitch. Awareness can be spread fast and furious through these events and I am a party planner!! I hope everyone had as much fun as we did today. Even when YNN, The Post Standard and CNY Central showed up, check the local news tonight for sure.  

http://www.cnycentral.com/news/story.aspx?id=844387

http://centralny.ynn.com/content/top_stories/627994/pedaling-for-a-purpose/
http://photos.syracuse.com/post-standard/2013/01/stupid_dumb_breast_cancer_ride_4.html

 I should really take it easy, no friggin way!! “Stacks for Racks” February 11^th Trapper’s II in Minoa. I have an event for everyone. Just you wait to see what is up my sleeve for March, it is fabulous!!!!

Raffle winners….I feel funny using last names please contact me if you think it is youJ

Teresa Russo bowl-Judy F

Karen Cycle/Strength-Jojo, Tony D, Teri B

Shannon Yoga-Megan B

Cor Room rental-Margret

Road Ready Spin-Kate

La Fleur Facial-Kim H

Glass bird plate-Eleanor

Bird Caddy-Kristin W

Bago of Goodies-Jill

MC Strength-Kathy S

Black Olive-Tom G

Pink Scarf-Chris B

Wild Bird Seed Ornament-Mandy

Sarah Hall Pot-Jim G